I've been on the job hunt for a couple of months now. It's been a long and frustrating process. Over the last five years, I've always had a job while I was searching for a new one. There's security in this, as well as a pay level that prospective employers try to beat. Now I have no income, a year-long gap in employment, and a terrible economy with few jobs and huge competition. This is hard.
After two months of searching, I've only had one employer call me for an interview. Just one. And I had 4 interviews with them. This made me feel pretty positive. This week, I went for my final, in-person interview. Yay! It went well, but I was expecting an offer that day. Boo, no offer. But the next morning, they called me with an offer. Yay? Well, maybe not. The pay was less that I'd hoped. Actually less than the lowest amount I told them I'd take in my first interview a month ago. After researching the cost of living in Nashville, I realized the amount I told them was lower than I needed to live comfortably. So the pay was not a happy number. Unless the shift differential (I was supposed to work the night shift) was added in. Then the pay was pretty good. But she said count on base pay when considering accepting the job. Base pay = broke captain. Bollocks.
But the pay wasn't the only issue. There were all these little issues that I thought "Oh, I can work around that" or "I can deal with that". Until there were too many of them. Holidays are just regular work days. No time off in the first 90 days of employment. I missed Thanksgiving and Christmas with most of my family last year, and I was really looking forward to this year's holidays. Not-very-affordable health insurance (a huge part of a job these days is the health insurance). The final straw, though, is the shift change coming up. They're moving to 12-hour shifts. And I don't mind a 12-hour shift. It equals more days off. But the shift itself is 5-5. Those are awesome work hours if you're on 1st shift. Absolutely terrible work hours if you're on night shift. So it would be either no social life because of crazy work hours on the night shift. Or no money to have a social life working on the day shift.
I just couldn't do it. Working a shift where I would never see Trevor? Not cool. Our relationship is way more important than any job. And maybe if the pay were excellent, I could put up with the less desirable job details. But it all adds up. So I'll be declining an offer of employment. This is the first time I've ever done this. And in this economy, with so few jobs and so many applicants, it seems like a stupid move. Especially when I haven't heard jack from any other jobs. This might be my one shot for the next 6 months. So hard to turn it down.
But I have faith. Something will come along. Something that will make me happier and pay better. I'm lucky, and I'll land on my feet.
Turning down a job is hard. There's so much uncertainty. But I should feel wishy-washy and wonder if I'm doing the right thing, right? I don't. I know this is the right thing to do. A tough decision, yes, but the right one for me.
